I have risen from the ashes of failure into a bird on fire, beautified by its renewal.
This will begin again, and I wash the last dirty week and every regained (around ten) pound from my hands. For my hands are now lovely, innocent feathers.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
And Holding.
144.4 AGAIN this morning. Said 143.8 yesterday. I don't get it. I only had about 450 yesterday. Dinner salad, miso soup, and a few bites of pineapple when I got home.
If I have ANY hope of being 139 by concert/anniversary on Friday night, I may have to break out the fasting... It may also be the only way to bust out this plateau. To be fair, when I tried that last Saturday I had more like 1200 calories, not 920. Maybe it just wasn't enough. I almost always fail at fasting, but for the sake of this concert and getting back on track... I may have to try.
Just until Thursday or Friday. I can. I can. I am the only thing stopping me. I must at least try. I have emergency food, just in case I feel sick, and just to know it's there.
But I must try.
If I have ANY hope of being 139 by concert/anniversary on Friday night, I may have to break out the fasting... It may also be the only way to bust out this plateau. To be fair, when I tried that last Saturday I had more like 1200 calories, not 920. Maybe it just wasn't enough. I almost always fail at fasting, but for the sake of this concert and getting back on track... I may have to try.
Just until Thursday or Friday. I can. I can. I am the only thing stopping me. I must at least try. I have emergency food, just in case I feel sick, and just to know it's there.
But I must try.
Monday, November 4, 2013
5 days and Counting...
5 more days of ABC until Concert/Anniversary is here. For the life of me I can't find ANYTHING to wear that looks good on me.
My weight is fluctuating up a bit from 143 due to just food weight, me thinks, and I sniffed a metabolism plateau again. Due to this (how my # haven't really budged in a few days and cold hands), I made Saturday my high calorie day again, just like last week (that worked brilliantly). I ate about 920 calories yesterday, all salad, GojiBerry raw nut bar, Greek yogurt light, etc. Nothing bad in site, just a hefty amount of calories. :(
At one point, I wasn't even hungry, but if I stayed at 750 calories or something, I don't know how much that would do to spike my metabolism. On this note, I did not weigh myself today, but yesterday I was still about 143.6 with food inside. Let's hope this gets the week moving on the right foot!
400 is allotted for today, including coffee this am, about 100 calories of grapes, 80 calorie light Greek yogurt, 100 calorie instant grits, 40 calorie miso soup later, and that will save me enough for an 80 calorie dinner salad. I usually eat a green salad with onion and reduced fat feta for a "greek" salad. Hopefully when I weigh tomorrow plateau will be broken.
I was feeling pretty unwell yesterday until I started with the lunch salad. After my afternoon eating time, I had enough energy to even go shopping, which was nice. At least I did some walking too! I found my #144 reward I set of a sweatsuit. I didn't like the VS Pink one I saw on me anyway, so I ended up getting Compression pants (cute look!) with a Hollister hoodie. It doesn't quite match, but oh well. It's nice to have. Even snuck in an awesome Hollister bag I found to sweeten the pot since I won't be getting teeth whitening and such, like I had on my rewards list.
Nice to be able to start getting things from accomplishments off my list. Only 4 more lbs roughly until my next stacker ring! I have a set of about 6stacker rings, and I wear one for every ten lbs I lose, to signify those ten lbs. :) I'm almost on to my second page of rewards. The first page was lbs 160-138. Second page is lbs 137-118. :) Maybe I'll buy the Florence Hoodie (128) and have something fun to look at to give me even more incentive. :)
Hasta Luego, until 142. :)
My weight is fluctuating up a bit from 143 due to just food weight, me thinks, and I sniffed a metabolism plateau again. Due to this (how my # haven't really budged in a few days and cold hands), I made Saturday my high calorie day again, just like last week (that worked brilliantly). I ate about 920 calories yesterday, all salad, GojiBerry raw nut bar, Greek yogurt light, etc. Nothing bad in site, just a hefty amount of calories. :(
At one point, I wasn't even hungry, but if I stayed at 750 calories or something, I don't know how much that would do to spike my metabolism. On this note, I did not weigh myself today, but yesterday I was still about 143.6 with food inside. Let's hope this gets the week moving on the right foot!
400 is allotted for today, including coffee this am, about 100 calories of grapes, 80 calorie light Greek yogurt, 100 calorie instant grits, 40 calorie miso soup later, and that will save me enough for an 80 calorie dinner salad. I usually eat a green salad with onion and reduced fat feta for a "greek" salad. Hopefully when I weigh tomorrow plateau will be broken.
I was feeling pretty unwell yesterday until I started with the lunch salad. After my afternoon eating time, I had enough energy to even go shopping, which was nice. At least I did some walking too! I found my #144 reward I set of a sweatsuit. I didn't like the VS Pink one I saw on me anyway, so I ended up getting Compression pants (cute look!) with a Hollister hoodie. It doesn't quite match, but oh well. It's nice to have. Even snuck in an awesome Hollister bag I found to sweeten the pot since I won't be getting teeth whitening and such, like I had on my rewards list.
Nice to be able to start getting things from accomplishments off my list. Only 4 more lbs roughly until my next stacker ring! I have a set of about 6stacker rings, and I wear one for every ten lbs I lose, to signify those ten lbs. :) I'm almost on to my second page of rewards. The first page was lbs 160-138. Second page is lbs 137-118. :) Maybe I'll buy the Florence Hoodie (128) and have something fun to look at to give me even more incentive. :)
Hasta Luego, until 142. :)
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Over and over
Was 143 last night before bed, and I munched a bit on pineapple and such, causing me to be 143.4 in what I imagine to be food weight. I was supposed to have 200 today, but instead had close to 500 by eating grits (100) for breakfast, a Greek salad (300) when J and I went out to lunch. Then had a few helpings of grapes I picked up at better health today. I can feel I won't be any lower on the scale than 143 tomorrow, or at least until I use the bathroom.
I want to continue on ABC until the concert, then I will refocus my plan after that to "another ten days" etc to get me through thanksgiving, or perhaps even a smaller goal than that "5 days" etc. I hope to come up with short term goal ideas tomorrow.
Friday, November 1, 2013
PM
143! Weighed when I got home around 6pm. I've hit my goal for the jogging outfit.
I ate a lot more than.I was supposed to today. didnt have the soup either. More like 450-500 than 100. I had a granola bar (200), then came home and had about 1c green beans, 1/2 a mango and some pineapple. I topped it off with almost a 40cal cup of skinny pop. I don't think I had over 500 though. Tomorrow is 200, but I always do so badly on the weekends. I'm nervous and I need a gameplan. Maybe I could spend the day hunting for outfits instead and have a nice salad.
143!
And The Winner Is...
144.4 :)
No food weight gained from last night's snack/dinner. 100 calories allotted for today, so I will just eat my beefy mushroom soup (normally 125) and skip all the meat bits, which I would imagine would cut out at least 25 calories of that soup, bringing me to 100.
Might have some chicken broth if I'm feeling cold, but oddly I haven't had that chill the last few days since the plateau was broken. My fingers are a bit chilled, but maybe it just helped to turn the heat up, or maybe it's because my metabolism was dormant. *shrugs* Either way, I'm glad things are going well for the last few days. I was getting discouraged.
My pants were ridiculously big on me that I haven't worn in a week or two, and the shirt that was uncomfortably tight is not today. Yay :)
I tried to find something yesterday to wear to the concert, but what can I wear when I'm still massive. Nothing will look good, not at this high of a weight. I'm glad to see my clothes at least are fitting differently. And my tan is coming along well. I think I should celebrate when I've lost 20 even lbs.
What shall I do, do you think?
No food weight gained from last night's snack/dinner. 100 calories allotted for today, so I will just eat my beefy mushroom soup (normally 125) and skip all the meat bits, which I would imagine would cut out at least 25 calories of that soup, bringing me to 100.
Might have some chicken broth if I'm feeling cold, but oddly I haven't had that chill the last few days since the plateau was broken. My fingers are a bit chilled, but maybe it just helped to turn the heat up, or maybe it's because my metabolism was dormant. *shrugs* Either way, I'm glad things are going well for the last few days. I was getting discouraged.
My pants were ridiculously big on me that I haven't worn in a week or two, and the shirt that was uncomfortably tight is not today. Yay :)
I tried to find something yesterday to wear to the concert, but what can I wear when I'm still massive. Nothing will look good, not at this high of a weight. I'm glad to see my clothes at least are fitting differently. And my tan is coming along well. I think I should celebrate when I've lost 20 even lbs.
What shall I do, do you think?
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Fat chance
Weighed at 6pm when I got home from work. 144.4 over a lb down from this morning. Yes. Which means I've lost almost 16lbs since Sept 24th, and also that I'm right on track for the holiday.
Didn't end up having the soup, just had about 1/2 a mango and 40 caps of skinny pop. I feel like I shouldn't have eaten so late, and I didn't even really want any food. I guess I felt if I didn't have something, I'd probably feel like crap tomorrow, and get shakey and stuff. I try to avoid that and it causes me to be bingey.
Still, Im overweight and a chunky cow, but I AM glad to see the # finally dropping after my plateau from hell. I'm wondering if I will be up tomorrow from eating so late at night?
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