So yesterday I had something like an English toffee cappuccino, a 10 calorie Rockstar energy drink (I usually never drink these due to all the chemicals, but I thought I'd give it a try), and I attempted a protein smoothie from Naked Juice, but it was horrifically chalky (peh). I was feeling pretty frustrated at my plateau, and how my weight hasn't shifted to even a tenth of a pound in a bit (impatient I am), so I thought on the idea of trying to jump it with a crap dinner.
I thought on it for awhile, so as to protect from a binge, and decided to have the alfredo tortellini with peas I admittedly crave quite often. After so long of purging, at times it seems to just come up on me on its own. I would have gotten rid of it, but it made me sick in this instance anyway by itself. I checked my weight before eating at the end of the day, and I had at least budged the tenth and lost .6lbs (putting me now at 149.8 to 149.2). I suppose I must have done all I needed to from dinner, as I was still 149.2 this morning.
I must say, I felt quite crap after last night though. Don't get me wrong, I felt wonderful to have my body be rid of the dirty, heavy feeling it was giving me, but my body felt very weary and unwell, compared to when I usually purge. I tried to raise my blood sugar quickly with a small light yogurt, kiwi, and clementine, but it felt like it was dropping into a hole and not doing much good. Glad I didn't gain any, and I'm glad I at least budged that obnoxious .8 number at last.
Today has been simple. I had no inclination to binge as sometimes happens after a purge last night so I've been on track, but feeling weak today. I had some black coffee and cheese eggs this morning (200 cal, trying to get some protein to make it through the day). A few bites of dry roasted edamame (45 cal), water (zeroooo cal), a Greek protein yogurt (80 cal), and lite chicken noodle Progresso soup (140 cal). I'm glad I'm writing these things out, cause lately I haven't been quite as aware as the total calories I'm consuming, and this will help keep me straight. I'm at 2:45 (almost end of the work day) and had 465. Meh. Guess it will be a light dinner. Was hoping to keep it at 400 cals today, it may end up being more like 500-550.
Today I have my next reward in my mind's eye: Victoria's Secret Pink jogging sweatsuit or Maybe Hollister yoga outfit.
I'm supposed to receive that when I hit #144, but of course I first want to be sure I'm at least at #145 for the concert on Wednesday, 10/30. I don't think it will be a problem, as long as I eat a few less calories and break this plateau stagnation. It might be best to do ABC for a few days just to wake it up. I'll see what I want to do after I see what the scale says tonight, if I've lost in the morning, etc.
"You can't choose what stays and what fades away." - Florence and the Machine
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